Rediscovering Confidence: Looking Within
In today's world, we're bombarded with images of confidence tied to being loud, assertive, and always in control. Yet real confidence isn't about conforming to stereotypes. It's about digging deep within yourself to find something truly powerful, something uniquely yours.
Building confidence requires consistent practice every day. Reprogramming your mind to change how you perceive yourself and how you believe others see you takes time. Along the way, you'll discover that much of the negativity you once internalized, was not an accurate representation. When you begin doing the mindset work, by letting go of old ways of thinking and doing, you will gain the clarity to reshape your belief system. Over time, you'll develop the ability to transform your mindset and redefine your self-perception. It all begins with trusting in yourself and your abilities.
As someone who once struggled with low self-esteem, I faced challenges in various aspects of life, particularly in my career and body image.
My lack of self-love and confidence began early due to financial difficulties, wearing hand-me-downs and facing teasing in school, leading to years of insecurity.
In my late twenties, I had a breakthrough during a personal growth training, realizing I didn't need to prove my worthiness. I went from feeling like I had to prove my value, to simply being okay with being me. I went from letting go of past hurt from friendships and dating, realizing that in minutes, I could finally release the baggage of "not being good enough." I let go of past hurts and embraced being myself.
Now, at thirty-two, self-love and confidence are central to my life. I'm passionate about empowering women to shine their light, speak their truth and courage to pursue their dreams.
Confidence isn't achieved overnight; it's a continuous journey.
Here are some strategies that helped me:
I allowed myself to fully experience and process my emotions, including the depths of anger and sadness. At times, I found myself consumed by anger, directed both at the choices I had made and the people I had trusted. However, I made a conscious decision to confront these emotions head-on, allowing myself the space and time to dive into what these feelings were trying to teach me, acknowledge them, and ultimately, release them.
I dived into forgiveness, healing, and self-improvement. One powerful practice I embraced was Ho'oponopono, a guided meditation technique rooted in Hawaiian tradition. Through this practice, I began my journey of forgiveness, starting with forgiving my parents, particularly my father, who raised my sister and me in a challenging and hostile environment- and ultimately, I forgave myself for how I treated myself. This process was transformative, allowing me to release years of pent-up resentment and hurt, and instead healing and being who God intended me to be.
One of the most challenging yet liberating steps I took was letting go of toxic relationships and situations that no longer served me. This included setting boundaries with my closest friend of over fifteen years, a decision that ultimately led to our parting ways. Though painful, it was a necessary step in prioritizing my own well-being and growth.
As I embraced my uniqueness and learned to love myself unconditionally, I began to attract people into my life who valued and appreciated me for who I truly am (like falling in love for the first time ever, with my now husband.) Self-love and acceptance also empowered me to pursue my dreams, including starting my own personal growth coaching business.
The journey towards this realization was filled with a mix of emotions—excitement, apprehension, and ultimately, a profound sense of fulfillment and purpose.
I came to understand that hurtful actions often stem from others' insecurities, a concept that "perception is projection." This insight enabled me to approach challenging situations with compassion and empathy, recognizing that people's behavior is often a reflection of their inner struggles rather than a judgment of my worth or value.
Despite the progress I've made, embracing my flaws and finding beauty in every aspect of myself is something I am still working on, yet, I remain committed to cultivating self-love and acceptance, recognizing that true beauty lies not in perfection, but in embracing our uniqueness and imperfections.
Remember, self-confidence starts with you. by prioritizing self-care, self-compassion and self-acceptance, you can build the confidence needed to navigate life's challenges. Remember, you are worthy, deserving, and wonderfully made.
Trust in yourself and your journey to self-confidence.
With courage,
Karla
