From Breakdown to Breakthrough
I was the quintessential "good girl" – the one who kept her thoughts to herself at school, stayed quiet, checked off the "wait until marriage" box, and proudly abstained from drugs and alcohol.
I prided myself on following a rule book that promised safety and virtue. And while my commitment to celibacy before marriage is still something I kept for myself, I came to a deep realization that changed everything.
I stopped categorizing things as "bad" or "good," with ethical limits, of course. The revelation brought a newfound sense of freedom.
I vividly remember a day when I was doing my makeup, preparing to go to church with a close friend. As I was about to leave, she looked at me and said, "You are such a good girl. Don't ever change. You are so good. Do it for us." The emphasis on "us" referred to the girls who once rebelled. I felt like I let everyone down. I choked on my unspoken truths, holding onto something I had done.
In tears, I confided in my friend, and to my surprise, she hugged me and reassured me that it was okay. However, I felt a wave of shame and worthlessness. Here I was, going to church, yet suddenly, I had labeled myself as "good" when I felt deep down that I was actually "bad."
This internal conflict, when left unaddressed, can lead us into darkness. Keeping our emotions hidden, judging ourselves too harshly, and holding back our true feelings can lead to feeling alone and overwhelmed. It's like a journey into the shadows, where our real selves get lost, and the pain inside grows stronger.
It wasn't until I started living in alignment with my values and letting go of the stories that fueled sadness, shame, and guilt that I found true purpose – the purpose that God had intended for me.
During a breakthrough session with a Neuro-Linguistic Programming practitioner and coach I hired, she posed a question that resonated deeply: "Do you think you are a good person?"
Caught in my concern for being perceived as a good person, I hesitated. "I don't know, maybe, yes," I replied. It was in that moment that I realized my belief was shaky.
Now, I understand that being a good person, to me, is someone who radiates kindness, extends genuine compassion, and lives authentically. It's not about living up to external expectations.
In letting go of rigid definitions, I found the freedom to live authentically, embracing my true self beyond the labels. Today, I coach other women to release judgment and live in authenticity, for it's in shining our God-given light, that we find true peace and purpose.
By sharing my story, I want to show how important it is to recognize our internal struggles. Giving ourselves space to uncover our true selves is key. This process helps us face the tough times, let go of shame, and step into self-acceptance. Only when we acknowledge our inner battles can we truly live with kindness, compassion, and authenticity, embodying what it means to be a good person.
When I went from having my breakdown to breakthrough here are a few things I did to reconnect to myself, my purpose and my vision:
Pause and Reflect: Take a moment to breathe deeply and slow down. Ask yourself what truly matters to you.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Instead of resisting breakdowns, embrace them. Identify your emotions and allow yourself to sit with them. Find gratitude in what is being uncovered.
Seek Support: Reach out to someone you trust. Talking to a supportive individual can help alleviate anxiety like a therapist or coach who can guide you in letting go of your mental and emotional blocks.
Journal Your Thoughts: Express yourself through writing, dancing or find something that fits your passions. Reflect on what you're feeling and experiencing. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this situation?"
Engage in Physical Activity: Incorporate exercise into your routine, whether it's a leisurely walk or an intense workout. Find an activity that brings you joy and suits your preferences.
Don't Hesitate to Ask for Help: Understand that seeking assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reach out for support when needed; it shows courage and resilience.
Question to journal on: What does being a good person mean to you?
If you are ready to break though and let go of old stories to fully accept and love yourself, here are 3 ways I can help you in your personal growth:
1:1 Private Coaching: Personal Growth coaching is for the woman who is ready to live her purpose, clarify her massive goals and ditch self-doubt for unshakeable confidence in her relationships, career and life.
3-Day Breakthrough Intensive: A 3-day coaching intensive where we delve into specific root problems, limiting stories and patterns to reclaim your power in one area of your life (either relationships, personal growth, career, spirituality) hindering progress and gain clarity in that area.
The 30-Minute Values Alignment Session: Lacking clarity on your goals? It starts with understanding your core values. When you align your actions and decisions with who you truly are, magic happens. In just 30 minutes, gain the clarity needed to kickstart action.
