I left the restaurant crying asking myself “Why do I STILL feel this way?”
I confidently walked into a restaurant and asked a manger if I could film for one of my content strategy clients. Then, as I was filming, a man said, “Hey you! I am the owner.”
I suddenly felt uncomfortable and instantly thought “Authority. Intimidating. Did I do something wrong?”
I stepped into courage, extended my hand & introduced myself to him.
During our conversation I was confident, well-spoken, friendly and direct. I told him why I was there (to promote his business…)
However, my conscious mind said, “He’s not trying to intimidate you, he is just curious…”
However, my subconscious mind said, “He’s stern, exclusive and uninviting.”
I was triggered. I left the restaurant as fast as I could and started crying.
“Why do I still feel this way?” My mind then wanted to enter into negativity…
“I am not confident…”
“How can I help others with their limiting beliefs and be a NLP Master Practitioner if I still have triggers?”
“I am not healed from my past…”
I took a deep breathe, found the trigger and held grace and positive space for myself.
When entering the restaurant, I felt bold, happy, optimistic, confident and then in just a few seconds, I let all of my NLP & MER tools and techniques out the window and focused on the negative, “I am less than him. I am in trouble. I do not belong here.”
You see, understanding triggers can help you put things into perspective. An emotional trigger is anything including memories, experiences, or events that spark an intense emotional reaction, regardless of your current mood.
These moments of triggers can happen while you talk to your boss, a friend, your partner or your parents.
Emotional triggers are associated with post-traumatic memories from your past.
Knowing what your emotional triggers are (and how to deal with them) is a key when building your emotional health.
Common situations that trigger intense emotions include:
- challenged beliefs
- being excluded or ignored
- disapproval or criticism
- feeling unwanted or unneeded
- loss of independence
Besides emotions, when dealing with triggers you may feel a pounding heart, shakiness, dizziness or sweaty palms.
So, if you catch yourself feeling triggered by something someone said or did….
- Take a step back
- Find your calm & breathe
- Trace the roots
- Approach your emotions with curiosity & ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way? What triggered me? Why did I create this perception of my reality?
You see perception is what we perceive to be accurate and how we create our own realities based on those perceptions. Although our perceptions feel very real, that doesn’t mean they’re necessarily factual.
Now, versus seeing this man as “stern and intimating” I simply see him as “Direct and curious.”
Learning to recognize and manage your emotional triggers will take time, but being self-aware when you get triggered, will help you build healthy relationships and allow you to grow into your highest self.
If this resonated, share it with a friend, and/ or go get support from a professional like a Certified NLP master practitioner—like me! 🙋🏻♀️